The other day, as I pulled lids off bins marked Tree Only and Family Room and rummaged through cloth bags sorted into various categories of Christmas décor,
I suddenly felt the need to shop for something new.
At first, I just wanted new lights. The ones we’d always used for the tree were a bit heavy and the ones for the wall were too scant. Then I wanted something new to go with the Christmas gnomes that I’d been gradually given over the past few years. A theme! Yes! So, my husband, my daughter and I all climbed into the car, leaving the house scattered with open bins, various Christmas droppings, and an undecorated tree, and headed to the mall. We ambled through aisles, debating over this piece or
that one, trying to visualize the final effect as we pushed past other shoppers
and they pushed past us. Eventually, decisions were made, slow-moving lines
were shuffled through, and our content little trio returned home to finish decorating
while gentle Christmas music played in the background.
Somewhere in all of that, I remembered my freedom.
It may have been in the car, with heated air blowing at my face and my feet, the weather outside actually as frightful as the song implies. Or maybe it was when I walked into our front entrance, big enough for three people to remove boots and hang coats, even with a dog tangled at our feet in greeting. Or maybe it was when we set up a Zoom and propped up the computer for our two older daughters to “participate” in our family tree decorating tradition from Vancouver, one in a dorm and the other in an apartment. Maybe it was when I lifted beautiful ornaments, made in classrooms with small hands and trusting hearts, from their carefully stored places and hung them on the branches of a tree that we never once considered not getting.
Of course, another word to describe all of this is privilege. And that is a true thing. There is immense privilege in these seemingly simple things, like choosing to buy a
few new decorations or driving in a warm car or owning a computer. There is privilege in buying clothes when we need them and always having a stock of food and not having to worry that our shelter will be taken from us. I am privileged. I have more than I need. And that gives me freedom.
You see, I chose the word freedom on purpose. There were times in my life – childhood and early adulthood in particular – when I did not have the freedom to choose what I wanted Christmas to be. My family didn’t always have a Christmas tree growing up, and the idea of buying spur-of-the-moment ornaments was so far from reality I would have never even thought it possible. Through both the generosity of
others and the tenacity of my family, we did always have some presents and food
– sometimes supported by the local hamper collection; and we always celebrated
Christmas, no matter what. I have many happy memories from my childhood
Christmases, and I am grateful for those. Somehow, I had enough. But that didn't equal freedom.
As so many others in my current socio-economic position, our family often helps with
various Christmas drives – hampers, winter clothing, new unwrapped gifts. We
offer time when we can, along with donations of items or money. These are a
handful of structured things that we can do, which will never be even close to
enough. But as I’ve wrapped gifts or sorted food or purchased items for people
in need, in my heart what I’ve really wanted to give these families is freedom. The freedom for the children to ask for the things they really want most of
all, just as my own children have been able to. The freedom for the parents to choose
which gifts and how many, to fill their tables with favourite foods, and to buy
as many decorations as they want to, just as we are able to do. Of course, volunteers pour much effort and care into giving families as much choice as possible, and that is not to be overlooked or undervalued. But it's still not quite the same.
If I could, I would put freedom in a box - along with some dignity and respect and autonomy - and tie it all up with a bow. I would banish any inklings of shame or loss of dignity from the Christmas season, and all year-round. I would reach up and shake the world until the sands of justice settled more evenly. But since I can't, I will write these words here. It's one thing I can do.
I'm reminded of my freedom a lot these days. It comes to me at Christmas when the world is at its greatest excess, but it comes to me throughout the year when I’m replenishing my pantry or filling my car with gas or choosing to eat in a restaurant. As they say, money can't buy happiness, but financial security does allow for the freedom to control our own lives and seek out the things that bring us joy. I feel very lucky that my life has reached that point and that we’ve been able to offer that security to our children. And I feel deeply for those not there. Everyone deserves dignity and respect and, whenever possible, freedom too.
For those of you celebrating, I hope you have a wonderful holiday season filled with love and joy and friends and family – along with the freedom to make it exactly what you and your loved ones wish it to be.
Publication Updates
VineLeaves Press
As mentioned in my last newsletter, my microfiction Delivering, was published in the annual anthology, 50 Word Stories of 2024 on November 26th. If you’d like to order the anthology or subscribe to receive future 50-word stories to be delivered directly to your inbox, you can do that here!
New Year's Eve Anthology
As most of you know by now, another piece of my writing, RIGHTING MY WORLD, was published in Another Chance to Get it Right: A New Year’s Eve Anthology by Nicole Frail Books. Thank you so much to everyone who has ordered from me or
ordered online! Unfortunately, due to the Canada Post strike, even other
delivery services have been delayed at this time of year, so I don’t have my
copies quite yet! Hopefully within the next few days I will receive them and
get them out to everyone who ordered.
When I receive the order, I will have a few extra copies, so if there is anyone who would still like to order from me directly, please let me know!
Also, as I mentioned last time, this story will also be published as a stand-alone E-book at a later date (TBD)! I will be providing more details of that as soon as I have more
information from the publisher. In the meantime, here are some ordering details:
ANOTHER CHANCE TO GET IT RIGHT can be ordered here
50 Books for 50 Years
Some of you may have been following the challenge that I set for myself on social media. This November marked fifty trips around the sun for me, so I am challenging myself to read 50 books from November 2024 to October 2025. Thank you to everyone for your suggestions so far! I’ve got a nice list of books going, but still plenty
of room for recommendations before I reach 50. Each month, I will choose a few (balancing genre, length, etc.) and will review at least one in the
Book Corner on my website and sometimes more than one on social media!
For November, I read the following:
- The Marriage of Rose Camilleri by Robert Hough (reviewed on Instagram, Facebook and Goodreads)
- Strangers in the Night by Heather Webb (reviewed on Goodreads)
- As the SnowDrifts: A Cozy Winter Anthology, edited by Nicole Frail (reviewed on Instagram, Facebook, and Goodreads)
- Another Chance to Get it Right: A New Year’s Eve Anthology, edited by Nicole Frail (stories accompanying mine are reviewed on Instagram and Facebook)
- Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness by Susannah Cahalan (reviewed on Instagram, Facebook, Goodreads, and a more in-depth review on my website)
Please do check out these reviews if you get a chance. If you’d like to leave your thoughts on social media or in the comments section of the website, I’d love to hear
them! Maybe you’ve read the book or would like to? Maybe it reminded you of
another book you’d like to read?
For December, I have chosen the following:
- The Strangers by Katherina Vermette
- Sofia in War and Love by Nada Telarevic
- Catch You Later by Jessica Strawser
- Morning in This Broken World by Katrina Kittle
- Sold by Patricia McCormick (this was a rollover from my original Nov list!)
Thank you again for all of your support and love during my writing journey. I'm so
grateful for you all.
